My first book finished after my first book

November 19, 2008 by assaultofknowledge

Last summer while traveling through the Middle East and staying mostly in Lebanon, I wrote my first book, The Cedar and the Maple Leaf: Stories From My Mother’s Motherland. Then, like a lazy fuck, I let it sit. I wrote every chapter but the last, and let it sit for 16 months. Then, in two days, I revisited it out of guilt and finished it.

Of course, in that time I was contracted to write what actually became my first book, Amazing Cats, about amazing cats, which is not what I thought my first (or second) book would ever be about.

This is what the first sentence of the book looks like:

sentence-1

This is what the last sentence of the book looks like:

sentence-2

Anything you say may end up in an Instant Book

November 19, 2008 by assaultofknowledge

Matt Prins, my pal from another gal, writes about one book a day. You might say his books are instant. He’s started a sight called Instant Books (obviously a play on the instantness of his books) where he scans and uploads the entirety of each book he writes.

I’ve known that he was writing books so instantly for some time now, in fact, while sitting in my home over beers and YouTube, he made two books right before my eyes. He’s very talented that young man.

What I did not know, however, was anything I say or do may be used in an instant. I found out Monday after reading his latest drama (or is it a comedy?) 544386-02. Only two days before he wrote and published that book, we had a passing conversation about his job and the similarities it has to a Christian Slater film, He Was a Quiet Man, in which Christian Slater’s character goes postal at the office doing the same thing Matt does in real life. Well, I guess the similarities were more damaging than I thought. Give it a read to find out how this exciting tale of friendship ends.

Do these guys look like friends, or what?

Do these guys look like friends, or what?

Next time, say cheese.

November 2, 2008 by assaultofknowledge

At my homies Josh & Geneveive’s house on Halloween, Josh pulled out an old Heavy D & the Boyz record (as opposed to a new one?). It struck me that they were smiling on the cover. But why is that even remarkable, I wondered. I realized that rappers never smile on their album covers anymore. The only one in recent memory is Common’s Be. Not only did I realize that, but I realized how delightful it is to see that. I mean, if the music is happy music, shouldn’t the album reflect that? Instead it’s always a bored or grimey face (including mine). Plus, and I know this from working in the magazine industry, smiling faces and eye-contact sell more mags. Well, mark my words: Next album–I’m smiling.

PS: This is me as Joe 6-Pack and my girlfriend as The Color Purple (and that’s my friend’s piss stain):


KazMega & homies at Scribble Jam

October 26, 2008 by assaultofknowledge

KazMega, my brother from another mother from another continent, was one of the producers competing in the production battle this weekend in this year’s illustrious Scribble Jam (Cincinnati, Ohio). Though he didn’t make it past the first round, he tells a compelling story of the battle and his trip, and gives us the lowdown on how Canada fared at the festival in ‘08. Give it a read.

In the end, Canada as a whole definitely left a maple leaf shaped imprint on Scribble Jam ‘08. Chedda Cheese, though he got knocked out the first round, was a celebrity amongst the other emcees and quite often you would hear some random cat screaming “Cheddaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”. Run ‘N’ Watta, one of my room/roadmates was also quite popular throughout the festival. She got to chill with KRS-One, and he even dedicated a portion of his set to aboriginal peoples for her. She also threw down on some middle-aged douche at a White Castle, but that’s a whole other story. Poizonous was eliminated in the semi-finals of his battle, and Kid Twist made it up to the quarter finals of the emcee battle. Aspire ended making it into the main event, but was eliminated in the first round. I think there was a Canadian in the DJ battle too, but that still to be confirmed.

The Sexies

October 15, 2008 by assaultofknowledge

The telling of my New York trip is going to be rather sparadic, I’m afraid. I’m about to leave the house (after defecating, of course) to the Ill Bill/Sean Price show (dope!). But here’s me with other winners at the Sex-Positive Journalism Awards in New York on October 2. It was a great party and a lot of fun, all of which I am documenting for the next issue of Chief Mag.

My first hurricane

October 14, 2008 by assaultofknowledge

It finally happened. After years of Andrews and Chris’s, Pablos and Henrys, the Omars of this world are finally being represented on the natural disaster front. Today I learned that tropical storm Omar has been upgraded to a hurricane. Expected to show the Caribbean people how to really party, he is “expected to dump up to 8 inches of rain over some areas, with 12 inches possible in some areas,” according to CNN.com. He may only be a category one, but its a giant step forward for a disaster usually dominated by Spanish and Anglosaxons.

Back from NY

October 12, 2008 by assaultofknowledge

Those I (Heart) New York shirts are not a cliché. At least not when I wear it. I’ll tell you all about the 10 great days I spent in the NYC and Washington. In the meantime, here’s two pictures of me that will allude to some of my adventures.

Scribble Jam Canada videos

September 29, 2008 by assaultofknowledge

For full forum, click here.

ASPIRE vs. K-BLITZ (Aspire wins)

JO THRILLZ vs. KONFLICT (Jo Thrillz wins)

ASPIRE vs. RAKER (Aspire wins)

JO THRILLZ vs. NEKKBONE Pt. I

JO THRILLZ vs. NEKKBONE Pt. II (Jo Thrillz wins)

CHEDDA CHEESE vs. SPADE (Chedda Cheese wins)

Scribble Jam Canada

September 28, 2008 by assaultofknowledge

The night was spectacularly successful. Thanks to everyone who came out and didn’t pelt the host (me) with tomatoes. Congratulations to KazMega and Chedda Cheese who won the producer and MC battles. If you were not there, I’m not about to write up a synopsis of the event. Plus, my perception is biased. Here’s a review some faceless tourist from Buffalo(?) wrote of the event.

Intercamp feature: “AOK’s album is a-okay” by Kristen Wagner

September 25, 2008 by assaultofknowledge

Unlike your average rapper, Mouallem earned the money to produce his album from freelance work by writing a book about… cats. “Amazing cats,” he corrected. The kind that save people from burning houses, learn to play the piano, and finance groundbreaking hip-hop records.

Despite the high quality of the music he produces, Mouallem claims he is not musically talented. “I’m totally tone deaf,” he said. “I couldn’t produce a beat if my life depended on it. If someone walked in here with a gun and was like, ‘You! Make me a beat!’, I’d say, ‘Well, I’ve lived a good life.’” CONTINUE READING >>